From themishmash.com:
Is this the worst tattoo ever?
I once saw a one of Pig Pen from the Peanuts comic strip - he was tattoo'ed on a girls left butt cheek and was walking out of her ass (there was even a dirty little footprint trail). That was the worst that I've ever seen, but alas, have no picture to share.
I think we can agree on one thing: when someone decides to incorporate butthole into a tattoo, it's probably not the best decision they've made that day.
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There is something to be said for parents that force their children to stay active. When I was 12, I know that there was nothing I wanted to do more than sit inside and play Techmobowl on Nintendo, but my mother actually locked us out of the house in the summer and made us play in the yard. That was a good thing.
My kids will probably get the same treatment. Kids need to be active, and more importantly, kids need to feel that they're athletic (even if they're not). The fear of getting out there and playing causes mildly fat kids to be resigned to their fate way too early on and just sit around getting fatter and fatter.
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Sometimes, however, parents may try to achieve athletic greatness through their children. Earl Woods is the obvious famous example. On a local level, I think of Bruce Svendsen setting up a full-sized pitching machine in his yard, or Coach Curtin offering up a steak dinner to anyone that could backhand 50 consecutive short-hops. Now, I'm not necessarily saying that this is a bad thing. I'm for putting a little pressure on children to succeed and care about what they're doing. I mean, really, get used to it junior. |
Life is a competition, and sometimes getting your ass kicked around as a child better prepares you for adulthood.
I think the line is mainly crossed when you're acting like an a-hole in the process. Mario Tiani managing little league games like he was Tommy fucking Lasorda is a good example. He is the real life version of Coach Roy Turner in the Bad News Bears.
I once told my dad that I wanted to be a ventriloquist when I was 12, and my dad gave me the biggest look of disappointment I ever saw, and then took me bowling. I'm thankful for that til this very day. That was parenting!
The message here is this: keep your children active, give them many options, but don't accept it if your kid says "sports aren't my thing". If baseball doesn't work, try hockey. If team sports aren't they're thing, make them run or something. The jury is still out on soccer. It's a great way to develop coordination, conditioning, and quickness, but you sacrifice a bit of their manhood in the process. Don't be surprised if your little David Beckham starts frosting his hair or wearing tight jeans - that's all I'm saying. (and if they do play soccer, temper it by putting them in a bowling league).
And for your daughters out there - the new activity sweeping the nation (of Australia) is STRIPPING! That's right, in Sydney they now offer pole dancing classes for little ladies as young as seven. The classes build strength and flexibility in teens and pre-teens. Options.
Part 1 of a multi-part homage to beer
As a kid, I marked the passage of time with holidays - they were the essence what I looked forward to each season. I couldn't think of the summer without visions of fireworks and the 4th of July. The fall for me meant Halloween and trick or treating.
Nowadays, as the anticipation for each new season builds, my thoughts still turn towards the holidays, but also to beer. Autumn still conjures up the scent of falling leaves and the sight of bright orange jack-o-lanterns, but also the taste of a good Oktoberfest lager.
Oktoberfest beers are my preferred style, so I thought I'd share a bit of history and a few of my personal favorites. As each new season approaches, I'll do the same with winter warmers, wheat beers and other timely brews that keep my taste buds tingling and my waistline bulging.
(An aside: In Lethal Weapon 2, Danny Glover warns that if you "cut the fat, you kill the burger". I feel the same way about beer - light beer is for vag, unless you're planning on drinking more than 5. Even then, you're concern should be about the "less filling" aspect of light beers, and not the caloric savings. Be a man for Pete's sake!).
History
On October 12, 1810, Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen, and threw a raging party with 40,000 guests that lasted 2 weeks. During that time, the consumed 40,000 chickens, 80,000 pork sausages, and 1,000,000 gallons of beer.
| (note the ratio: I try to consume 1/2 chicken, 1 nice pork sausage, and 10 beers at every BBQ I go to). Six Munich breweries were invited to brew a special beer just for the wedding. Löwenbräu, Spaten, Augustiner, Hofbräu, Paulaner and Hacker-Pschorr, all brought their version of a märzen, a slightly dark, copper beer with very mild hoppiness. It is served in a one-liter-tankard, ein Mass (seen in the hand of the little filly on the right). | 
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The beer
Before refrigeration, it was nearly impossible to brew beer in the summer. The hot weather caused out of control fermentation and bacterial infections.
Brewers realized that if they stored the beers underground where it's colder, they would keep for longer, and they would have something ready to drink at the start of football season! Some of the slow acting yeasts that fermented at lower temperatures responded well to this process, referred to as lagering.
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March was the last month in which it was possible the brew bottom-fermented beer (hence, märzen). It has a higher alcohol content to help preserve it through summer, and a rich amber hue from the use of lighter malts. This is the style of beer that was served at Ludwig's wedding. Amazingly, the original brewers in 1810 got it so damn right that they're still the best Oktoberfest beers made to this day. |
My favorites
These are, in my opinion, the best examples of this style of beer around right now:
#1 Ayinger Oktober Fest-Märzen
#2 Paulaner Oktoberfest-Märzen
#3 Victory Festbier
#4 Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfest-Märzen
#5 Spaten Oktoberfestbier Ur-Märzen
Special mention goes to Gordon Biersch Märzen. I was in Palo Alto this week for work, and had the pleasure of stopping in at the Gordon Biersch brewery. I have to say that next to the Victory selection, this is one of the best Märzen-style American beers that I've tasted.
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