Keeping our children active

There is something to be said for parents that force their children to stay active. When I was 12, I know that there was nothing I wanted to do more than sit inside and play Techmobowl on Nintendo, but my mother actually locked us out of the house in the summer and made us play in the yard. That was a good thing.

My kids will probably get the same treatment. Kids need to be active, and more importantly, kids need to feel that they're athletic (even if they're not). The fear of getting out there and playing causes mildly fat kids to be resigned to their fate way too early on and just sit around getting fatter and fatter.

Sometimes, however, parents may try to achieve athletic greatness through their children. Earl Woods is the obvious famous example. On a local level, I think of Bruce Svendsen setting up a full-sized pitching machine in his yard, or Coach Curtin offering up a steak dinner to anyone that could backhand 50 consecutive short-hops.  Now, I'm not necessarily saying that this is a bad thing. I'm for putting a little pressure on children to succeed and care about what they're doing.  I mean, really, get used to it junior.

Life is a competition, and sometimes getting your ass kicked around as a child better prepares you for adulthood.

I think the line is mainly crossed when you're acting like an a-hole in the process. Mario Tiani managing little league games like he was Tommy fucking Lasorda is a good example. He is the real life version of Coach Roy Turner in the Bad News Bears.

I once told my dad that I wanted to be a ventriloquist when I was 12, and my dad gave me the biggest look of disappointment I ever saw, and then took me bowling. I'm thankful for that til this very day. That was parenting!

The message here is this: keep your children active, give them many options, but don't accept it if your kid says "sports aren't my thing". If baseball doesn't work, try hockey. If team sports aren't they're thing, make them run or something. The jury is still out on soccer. It's a great way to develop coordination, conditioning, and quickness, but you sacrifice a bit of their manhood in the process. Don't be surprised if your little David Beckham starts frosting his hair or wearing tight jeans - that's all I'm saying. (and if they do play soccer, temper it by putting them in a bowling league).

And for your daughters out there - the new activity sweeping the nation (of Australia) is STRIPPING! That's right, in Sydney they now offer pole dancing classes for little ladies as young  as seven. The classes build strength and flexibility in teens and pre-teens. Options.

More on that here and here.

Comments

[Tim S]

Okay, I believe I got slammed twice in this one. First my old man then the soccer comment. Kyle, is there still a little anger from being second string all your life?

[Andy O]

I agree. Soccer players are just a bunch of fags running around in silk shorts.